Life Abroad: Week Thirteen
Party of One
Taking a solo trip was something I wanted to do since coming abroad. I didn’t have a definite reason as to why it was on my bucket list; my brother has done a lot of solo travelling, so maybe it was to prove to myself that I too, could do it. I did wan to see if my travelling skills have improved these past months. It also felt like a personal celebration of 20 year old Europrean freedom before returning home to a corporate job and a suburban lifestyle. So, I took a solo trip to Scotland for 6 days this week.
I chose Scotland for 3 reasons:
Edinburgh/Scotland has been named one of the safest places for female travelers (important to consider if you are solo travelling as a female)
They speak English, so I wouldn’t have to worry about things getting lost in translation or people trying to take advantage of me
Scotland has two main areas: the Highlands and the Lowlands. The Highlands are full of beautiful, mountainous nature and the Lowlands are made up of cities such as Edinburgh (known as a large inspiration for JK Rowling when writing Harry Potter) and Glasgow
I spent (almost) 6 days here: My hostel was in Edinburgh, so I did 4 days in Edinburgh, took a bus for a day trip in Glasgow, and did a day bus tour in the Highlands where I got to see the Three Sisters and Loch Ness. My first day, I took a walking tour of Edinburgh where I met a friend named Deborah who was 25 and doing an exchange program in Germany for the year. It was her first solo trip too :) After the tour, we checked out some of the graves that inspired the names of some Harry Potter characters (Mad Eye Moody, Tom Riddle, and McGonagall, to name a few). We then got ice cream at a famous place called Mary’s Milk Bar and sat on a bench talking about television, exchange progams, and America. Her program is pretty cool: she receives accomodation and a monthly stipend in exchage for studying abroad and working in Germany. Unfortunately, Deborah doesn’t love Germany because of the weather and she’s located in Hanover which doesn’t have much to do. We parted ways and I got beef hot pot and spring rolls at this amazing Chinese restaurant. This was one of my first times eating at a sit down restaurant by myself, but I really didn’t mind. Later that night she invited me to go to a bar with her but I was tired (from waking up at 4am to catch my flight), so I passed. I never saw her again as she went to London the next day, but it was a sweet way to start my solo trip.
I was in Edinburgh at a weird time because it was the tail end of spring break for most people, so the city was packed from Friday to Sunday. Monday to Wednesday, it was relatively empty. This was a bit unfortunate because that meant most people in my hostel were travelling with friends over the weekend. I I didn’t meet other friends until Monday (when I went to Glasgow) and Tuesday (when I was in the Highlands), so just before I left. But, I honestly would rather be by myself than force myself to make friends by loitering in a hostel lounge and drinking with randos who are probably older than me. I’m fairly comfortable being alone and it’s more fun for me to do that than make small talk. Being by myself meant I could do whatever I wanted to do, whenever I wanted to do it.
My last night in the hostel, I met a girl named Beste (goes by “Bestie” to make it easier to pronounce) from Turkey who now lives in the UK. She was such a ray of sunshine: I noticed her earlier that morning because she went up to the window of our hostel room and gawked at how lucky we were to have sunshine and good weather that day. She was 29 and when she heard I was 20, she squealed at how “cute and young” I was, saying she was so proud of me for solo travelling at such a young age. Actually, she told me a lot of things: she kneeled by my bed and asked if I studied psychology or therapy because she opened up to me instantly, remarking that I was very easy to talk to (that was such a nice compliment). She revealed that she did her college exchange semester in Porto, where she met a boy and fell in love. Beste ended up moving to the UK for him until they broke up about a year and half ago. So this was also Beste’s first solo trip, “to prove that I can love the UK without him.” She would “probably sacrifice both of [her] legs” to be young and carefree and 20 again and cautioned me to soak up all of life right now, as it passes by in a blink of an eye. “Don’t fall in love, do whatever you want and travel and meet people and see the world before it’s too late to” - I told her I had a boyfriend back in the US and she said “oh that’s fine, just don’t fall in love overseas or it’'ll ruin you”. We hugged twice before going to bed. This felt like seeing an eerie future version of someone I could be, but probably do not want to ever be. I don’t think I’ll be able to stay in hostels when I’m 29 so kudos to her. I wish her all the best too.
I felt very responsible this week. I guess I had to be- I was the only person to be held accountable for what would happen to me. I figured out public transport, I scheduled tours, I climbed Arthur’s Seat (a 40 minute hike) all by myself. This was one of the first trips where I felt like my health improved: I was sleeping at least 8 hours every night, eating 3 meals a day, walking a lot, and didn’t drink at all. I spent most all of my days alone with my thoughts and it wasn’t daunting or overwhelming, it was peaceful. Like a personal retreat. Being alone is not something to be scared of, but something to be embraced. It’s something that I always want to be comfortable doing no matter what stage of life I’m in. I wrote in my journal:
I’m comfortable being on my own. Solo travelling hasn’t been particularly hard in that aspect- it’s more so that I now understand the different things that would make up a Buzzfeed post of “15 Things You Just Get If You’re Travelling by Yourself” or “10 Reasons why Solo Travel is Worth It.” No, it didn’t fundamentally change me by any means. I now just feel more confident asking people to take pictures of me (or offering to take pictures of couples and friends first hoping they return the favor), figuring out public transport on my own, or always locating the nearest outlet to make sure my phone doesn’t die.”
“I can feel people staring at me at restaurants, at tourist attractions, when I say “just one” for tables and tickets. Though- it secretly gives me hidden pleasure. Knowing they have no idea how amazing of friends and family I have, that this solitude is by firm choice and nothing else."
The one downfall of all of this was that my phone time usage increased drastically. Not only because I had to use my phone to get places (as I couldn’t rely on a friend’s navigation) and research things to do, but because it was my main tie to familiarity and connection. I texted my friends and family a lot because I wanted to share pictures and moments, and it made me feel less “alone”. My parents were also worried about me being alone, so I texted them frequently to assure them of my safety.
I also felt extra homesick this trip. This is due to a multitude of things: spending 6 days by myself in a hostel (hostel fatigue is so real). Not having my own space or bathroom to relax and decompress. Being surrounded by families and friends that were spending their spring break together. Bearing the cold Scottish weather by myself. Having to text my parents constantly, which was nice but made me miss them all the same.
But having all these moments to myself were so special. With so much of life being documented on social media (whether it be for others or for yourself) and shared with other people, it was nice to have a slice of life that was just mine.
Hope you enjoyed the pictures, especially the timer cam :) I hope this inspires you to spend some time on your own, soaking in your own precious company. Thanks for reading and happy living!
With love,
Rachel
