August 2022
August was a whirlwind and completely antithetical to the rest of my summer.
At the beginning of the month, I traveled to Philadelphia to spend the weekend with Sree. We ate a lot of indulgent, delicious food. Food is one of the main pillars of our relationship and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
From Philly, I took the train to NYC. This whole navigating train and subway stations was a muscle I haven’t flexed in months, but I was happy to discover my ease with it all once the dust cleared. This is growth, and this is an example of a way I’m slowly becoming an …. adult (shudder). Except today I was brushing my teeth and dancing to 400 Lux, a song I’ve loved since early high school, and had a little moment. I looked at myself in my bathroom mirror, with my new haircut and new bangs, and thought how much happier, how much more confident, and how much more intentional my life has become. These moments happen more often nowadays. Aging, adulthood…it’s all a gift I’m getting used to receiving happily.
So yes, I got a new haircut and if you know me (or really most females), haircuts are indicitive of a new era. Getting a haircut is my personal favorite thing to do to announce a new chapter in confidence. I think this might be my favorite haircut of all time- which is saying something, because I tend to like my haircuts. I’ve been quite overwhelmed with the uncertainty of post-grad decisions and my stressful semester ahead, but this new hair is positively transformative, to a small degree.
Back to the city: there was quite a lot riding on this trip, as I was hoping my heart and brain would decide and more importantly, be in unison, on how I felt about NYC. My heart really wants to fall in love with it, in the way Sex and the City portrays life in the city. My brain knows that NYC is the most rational option for post-grad: it’s the closest city to home where I can get a job I’d want, it’s close to Philly, I’d have family and friends in the city. It’s also NYC!!! Glitzy, sexy Manhattan- isn’t this every 20 year old’s dream for after college?
There were a lot of things to love about New York. I could never get bored there which is not something you can find many other places. There was also just a sense of everyone doing things and making a life for themselves that I really liked. That energy is really special and if I’d ever live in NYC I’d want to do it while I’m young and have friends there.
But New York is also so overwhelming in literally every way. You always have to be alert, the air smells musty, the streets are dirty. There’s no space to breathe. I didn’t expect the lack of nature in Manhattan to make an impact on how I felt, but I really did miss seeing the green open stretches of freshly mowed lawn, the foliage accompanying my walk to class. Central Park, sure but Central Park doesn’t feel wild and free, or natural. Things are expensive and spaces are small- the price you pay for the city that never sleeps.
After talking to various friends, it seems like I’d need to spend longer than 2 weeks in the city to grow fonder. And I agree- I’d spent pretty much every day in NYC meeting friends, working, walking, going out, aka doing all the things I had rarely been doing in Grand Rapids. By the last 3 days, I was growing more accustom to the city and starting to relax a bit. This could also be because I ended my trip staying in my brother’s nice East Village apartment. So I think my takeaway from this all is: I could do NYC, as long as I allow myself a larger period of adjustment. And I think I want to? Which is the most important part. Heart and brain will think more on this as I figure out who will be there after graduation, so I’ll keep you posted.
Besides work, I mostly just hung out with my fellow design interns whom I LOVED and miss so so much. We had so many silly days and nights together, and it made the end of my internship so much sweeter. I love pockets of time in random places with a random group of people: it’s a recipe for connectedness and easy friendship.
Other Things I did in NYC:
Visited what has become my favorite museum! The Cooper Hewitt Design Museum. Got in for free using employee badge because they assumed we were press. Also went to the Guggenheim.
Had so much delicious food and tried so many new things. New York, I’ll give it to you: the food scene is unparalleled.
Went to an amateur improv comedy show. I have SO MUCH APPRECIATION AND AWE FOR PEOPLE WHO DO IMPROV and I must go see more shows. It was fantastic.
Thrifted in Brooklyn, went shopping in Soho. Walked around Dover Street Market, and window-shopped all the luxury clothes I’d never buy.
Drank many interesting cocktails. Went to a speakeasy! And had a good amount of sake, which was cool and I liked it more than I’d expected.
Sewed a very cute tote bag. For my team offsite, we went to a tote bag making class and I was the worst one there but I now have a functional, blue gingham print, lined with veggie print tote bag to carry my groceries.
I also went up north to Leland, MI with my Bursley friends for 4 days. I love hanging out with them. Our friendship feels almost like what high school could’ve been like if I was surrounded by different people. I say this because like high school, my friendships with them are simply because of coincendential situation (of being placed in the same dorm) and nothing more. Most of my other close college friends were made through clubs or majors. The 5 of us hang out and talk about life and personal development and make fun of each other. Our friendship is simple in the best way possible. I also feel because we are all from the state of Michigan, we’re coming from very similar Michigan upbringings (which could be another reason why it reminds me of a better version of high school). It’s comforting having friendships like this. I also just missed nature SO MUCH and Leland is one of the most beautiful places to take all of the summer beauty in. We swam in Lake Michigan and in Lake Leelanau, picked blueberries, visited John’s second grandparents (lmao), baked chocolate chip scones, drank wine, and watched sunsets.
Delasi remarked earlier this week that she’s starting her “quiet girl era” of having fun and doing all the things with no note of it on social media. This is the era I’ve been in for a minute, and think I’ll continue as senior year begins. I’m excited to move in and begin my last year of college, although lasts are scary and school is one of my favorite things in life. I’m trying to be as intentional as possible for senior year on where I place my energy and how I nurture my relationships. This is requiring minor goal-setting, which I’m going to commit myself to doing before moving in. I’m typing it here so I actually do it.
Books read: Writers and Lovers by Lily King (cute and made me feel things even though it’s seemingly faceless). Not as much reading this month, and no promises for next month either but need to find a new book!
TV watched: Succession Season 2, Never Have I Ever Season 3, Indian Matchmaking Season 2.
Music I’ve been listening to: Maggie Rogers’ new album, Surrender (August playlist here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2vlM83Qkdqsb7nqjpj0AA9?si=afdb6e3b86d24cb0)
Thanks for reading and happy living!
With love,
Rachel
