July 2022

July always ends without anyone realizing. It’s the phase of summer that passes you by, like your friend’s son growing a foot taller and getting his braces off since you last saw him. None of my friends have had kids yet so what am I talking about! Hello and welcome back my readers.

I honestly can’t remember much in specific about July. Everyday was pretty similar- wake up, read on the couch with my tea, work for 8 hours, try to work out, cook dinner, watch tv, maybe read some more. Talk to my mom, and then sleep. The monotony was welcome though- I’m not itching for any change anytime soon. I’ve been stressed about job things because I chose to work for the one company who doesn’t give interns return offers after their summer internships (It’s not that they don’t give return offers, it’s that they wait for a really long time before they can give out offers (think: Spring 2023) because of “the budget”. Yeah, I picked this for myself by working at a newspaper). As such, I’ve been stressing out far too much about job stuff that shouldn’t even have to be a source of stress in my life- I thought this phase of interviewing and recruiting was over after last year. And some news! I’m extended my internship to work throughout the year (partly for pay, partly because it seems to be the norm for people getting return offers). It’s flexible, so won’t be working much but alas, another thing to think about as senior year rolls around.

But, this is making the wheels of my brain turn, which I could interpret as a gift if I was more optimistic consistently. Isn’t it also nice to be given the chance to think about what you would do if you really could do anything? And, how much do I really like working in a corporation, in tech? Sitting at a computer for 8 hours a day doesn’t sit well with me. Then again, I don’t know if I’m just lazy and am used to prioritizing my own enjoyment. I know I won’t stay in the field forever. Teaching runs in the females of my family, While I’d like to be the dark horse, I can’t help but wonder if it could be my path too- either that, or I’ve just been conditioned to think that I should be a teacher because my mom was, and all of my aunts are, and my grandmothers were. Hm. But anyway, all that goes to say I need to have a tangible way to feel impact that matters to me in my job, one that I don’t really think I have in my current path. Yes, design has undoubted impact and I’m working for a highly impactful company, but the day to day and results of that impact aren’t tangible for me, as a designer. I feel the extreme privilege I have in being able to choose so intimately what I want for my life and my career. As such, I’d like to do right by this, and be wholly thoughtful with my decisions.

That’s what’s been on my mind recently. I went up to my high school friend’s cottage to celebrate her 21st. It was a high school reunion that, for me, had been a long time coming, as I hadn’t seen many of them in a long time. It was nice to catch up and see how everyone’s doing, but by Sunday morning I was excited to come home. Being back with some of my high school friends always reminds me of how uncomfortable in my own skin I used to feel, and how much I’ve grown for the better since then. Also, reconnecting with people with substances in that way isn’t fulfilling and I feel like I didn’t learn much about how they are all really doing.

Pearl also stayed over at my place for July 4th weekend, which meant a lot of quality time with her and Naomi. Sree has said that none of my friend groups are that similar to my core personality except the PIPS, and it’s true. Every day I get older, I become more thankful for the years of memories and strong love we share to this day. It’s nice not having to think hard about who your closest friends are. We celebrated Bency Uncle’s 50th, had dim sum at Wei Wei Palace, and the kids got drunk together at Bdubs/Downtown GR. Certainly a bonding experience. Summertime has always been extra special because of how much more quality time I get to spend with my Indian besties.

My dad and I spent a lot of weekends together: going grocery shopping, watching movies, sharing meals.

I baked an Icebox cake for the 4th and some blueberry muffins for my last Sunday morning in GR. Made Reena’s orzo salad, lots of power bowls, and some kimchi noodles. I cooked a Lot. I’ve also been eating a lot of the Outshine fruit popsicles which I 100% recommend as an after dinner summer snack. Lemon is my favorite flavor, because it tastes like frozen lemonade. Another new food of reverence: grapes! Grapes are actually such a delicious summer treat and can satisfy a sugar craving while cooling you down.

Movies watched (all with my dad lol): Father of the Bride, Top Gun: Maverick. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, Jab We Met

TV watched: Succession season 1, two seasons of Good Trouble (it got boring once Callie left)

Books read: The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri (every brown immigrant child should read), The Extended Mind by Annie Murphy Paul, Malibu Rising by Taylor Jenkins Reid, Bluets by Maggie Nelson. I read Bluets aloud to myself because it was a poetry book, and Ada Limon said that poetry was always meant to be spoken aloud. I have a bad habit of indulging in books towards their last chapters because I want to reach the ending, or just finish it before the day ends. This reading aloud forced me to slow down and also gave me flashbacks to middle school days where I’d scan the passage I was supposed to read to the class before it got to my turn, just so I could brace myself. Maybe when I’m retired I’ll become the librarian who reads aloud Magic Tree House books at the local elementary school.

I’m packing up and heading to New York City for 2 weeks- it’s my first time flying since coming back from Europe and I’m excited for the bustle of a big city. A Michigan summer has restored me back to equilibrium, but I miss being surrounded by people doing things. And by being able to walk to places <3 I’ll let you know how it all goes, very soon.

Thanks for reading, and happy living!

With love,

Rachel

Maru for lunch

Karah, Easheta, and I at Taylor’s cottage

FHE reunion

on the boat

Stella’s bathroom, having a moment

dim sum at Wei Wei

<3 so cute Rea took this without us knowing

Bency uncle’s 50th, finally saw Caitlin after 3 years

my icebox cake for the 4th

one day one will be ours <3